Disappear
by MoJo-TsuneniToEien
Summary: What started for Romano as a bad hair day, he realizes, could be foreshadowing the downfall of his younger brother...


**Disappear**

As I awoke annoyance began to settle inside me. The parting of my hair or something was all messed up and my annoying curl—an attribute I had half-inherited from _Nonno_ —was in my face making my nose itch. I tucked it behind my ear before scooting closer to Antonio, but I felt him stirring awake...

"Hey..." I started, "...you gonna make breakfast now or what?"

"Good morning to you too, Roma," he said gently, turning to give me a smile. I might have smiled back then pulled the sheets over me more, being more in the mood for rest than going to the stupid UN meeting... Spain, wrapping an arm around me, pulled himself closer and placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"How are you, _mi cari_ _ñ_ _o..._?"

"Could you quit asking me that?" I sighed, sorry for snapping at him. "I'm fine."

"...Lovino-"

" _Spagna,_ " I moved a little closer to his ear, "I'm okay. No headache."

 _'Yet.'_

"Okay."

After a few minutes of cuddling, I got myself out of bed. That meeting wasn't going to grow legs and walk to us. I really hoped to just get the meeting over with... I walked over to the dresser and popped a pain-killer into my mouth.

"Get your ass outta bed now, _stupido,_ I'm still hungry."

Antonio started doing as he was told, emerging from the covers groggily before going to the closet where his uniform was. As he was pulling up his pants Antonio stopped and looked at me cocking his head to the side before the tiredly confused look on his face crumbled under the laughter that came out of his mouth.

"Wh- what is it?!"

"Hahaha, you have _terrible_ bed head! I almost didn't recognize you."

I felt my face flush and went into the bathroom. There was a stupid cow-lick on the side of my head, opposite of my curl. As I tended to my hair with a comb I grumbled. It was probably caused by the way I slept on my side against Antonio; he likes it when I come over because I hold him when we go to sleep.

As I started to attack the aforementioned strand of hair, pain flashed into my head I groaned and dropped the comb in the sink. I stared at the reflection in the mirror, my mind processing... processing... I took a wobbily step back as the fear crept into my throat. Proudly jutting out from the left side of my head was a little _curl,_ lighter than the shade of my own hair, exactly like my younger brother's. The pain pushed against my brain.

I screamed, bursting out of the bathroom.

I should have seen it coming with all those coincidences lately... Just a few days ago, I called him on the phone after I arrived in Spain and he complained about his throat. I told him, "At least it's sunny. Go outside!"

"It is? ... How'd you know _fratello?_ "

Antonio looked at me like I was a maniac. I didn't have time to explain, snatching the car keys and my phone from the side table. He grabbed my wrist.

"Lovino?!"

I almost jumped out of my skin.

"I have to _go,_ Spain!" I shouted like I had never shouted at him before I yanked myself free, bounding down the hall at an alarming rate as I madly speed-dialed Feliciano's number. The meeting. He'd have to be at the meeting.

The first ring. I barreled down the stairs as if the steps were as hot as lava. Pain throbbed with every motion I made, like the dangly part of a bell that clangs against its metal inside, my head pounded. I heard Antonio, behind me, call my name once again.

The third ring. That was it. I was out of the house making a beeline to the car, leaving the door open behind me. My heart was beating faster and more powerfully than it ever had before and I wasn't sure what scared me more: how close I felt to having a heart-attack or the thought of Veneziano-

The fifth ring. Keeping my phone between my shoulder and ear, I fidgeted with the keys. It's a miracle I hadn't torn the door off before getting in and slamming it shut, but I was in the car, in the clear-

Dial tone. Flat-line. Was there a difference at this point? A woman operator's voice came on. I couldn't even cry; the dread that sank over me had suffocated my tears and left me feeling disgustingly numb... I should have seen it coming.

The engine turned over and I slammed on the acceleration. There were two turns and I went the right way, now driving straight towards Italy because that's where he _had_ to be, not at the UN meeting that he was too sick to go to.

 _'How do I know this?!'_

The auburn-haired personification was moaning in pain, his body going through an excruciating cycle as he faded out and in. Italy Veneziano-Feliciano Vargas' bloodshot eyes were darting around uncontrollably. He couldn't even recognize his own room. All he felt- all he _knew_ were those stabbing pains in his gut and head. He stifled his screams as groans, clawing at the now splintered floor without the slightest idea why his fingers were hurting so badly. He hallucinated.

All at once it hit me.

 ** _o~o_**

I opened my useless eyes to confirm that I was enshrouded by darkness, except for my body outlined in a faint light... My sense of direction left me; in this place there seemed to be no up or down... no left or right... no forward or back. Until I turned around and was met with a very large something—

"Earth." I found myself saying it out loud and my eyes adjusted to see it true.

I faced the darkness again and realized I could make out the distant glows of hundreds of bodies drifting around.

" _Italy!_ "

"H- huh?!"

There he was.

"Feliciano!" I cried.

He turned around like he heard me, but couldn't see me.

A breeze went through his hair as he calmed down. The strange noise had gone with the wind, it seemed to the boy... As well as that unbearable pain, thank God! Feliciano laughed to himself spinning around on his feet until he fell back into the soft grass a fit of giggles escaping him. He gripped the smooth blades in his hands then looked at it. This was real, he told himself.

He was too wrapped up in the place to hear the crunching of grass growing louder behind him.

"Italy."

His eyes widened, tears threateningly welled at the edge of his eyes at the sound of the voice... Feliciano pushed himself up slowly and turned his body just enough to see the black-robed empire who stood above him. His face flushed then went pallid.

"Ah- oh- H- Holy Rome...?"

The blue-eyed boy smiled gently and Veneziano felt the tears streaking down his face at the too-vivid sight of him. The other took ahold of his hand lifting him upward. His heart leapt with joy.

When he stood up he asked, "H- how are you here?" his voice cracking as the tears kept streaming down his cheeks. Holy Roman Empire stepped closer rubbing the tears away with his thumb when his hand brushed against the Italian's own.

Suddenly the darkness swallowed the scene and the nation before him, though he could still somehow sense that he was there. Then he felt another presence enter. The pain was returning.

"No... no more, no more-please stop teasing me big brother!"

"Feli, what are you talking about?! _Look_ at me!" I begged him.

"Let me go! Let me _go!_ "

"It- It's an _illusion,_ Feli!" I insisted, tightening my grip. "You have to _stop!_ "

" _Let me go!_ "

"NO! God _damn_ it, I CAN'T be Italy by myself! Damn it, Feliciano, I'd rather _die_ than be left alone! You and _Nonno_ can't leave me alone again!" I sobbed.

He looked at me. His eyes that once looked so sweet, like caramel, were sapped of their life.

"Lovi... it hurts..."

" _I_ hurt."

Veneziano's eyes widened taking pity on his older brother who looked so ruined... but the ghost feeling of Holy Rome squeezing his hand drew him back.

"I want to disappear," he admitted and I felt a stabbing pain in my heart. "Lovino, you won't be alone... you have Antonio."

"I love you, Feliciano. You're my brother— _mia famiglia!"_ Feliciano glanced away. I felt the urge to take both his hands in my own and followed it.

The pain was subsiding.

"Dammit, I didn't _know_ how badly you were hurting until now. I'm lucky it's not too late..." The tears crept into my voice and caught his attention. My face was red from trying to hold in the tears, but I don't think I could anymore. I pulled my brother in for a hug and I whispered: "We'll get there one day, Feli... but not yet. N- _Nonno_ is there too, I felt it, but now is not our time. They're not going anywhere so don't go anywhere either, you bastard!" I sobbed.

The last thing I felt was his arms wrapping around me.

 _ **o~o**_

My eyes opened again to white. A white-walled room, white blanket, white door... It started coming back to me: I was driving madly down the highway when I had the vision of Feliciano, but I didn't realize that I going off the highway into oncoming traffic and

 _'All at once it hit me.'_

Hospital.

My head throbbed dully. I looked around for a call button or something I could use to get a nurse's attention and when I found it I signaled once and waited. A man came into the room and his eyes widened when he saw I was awake.

 _¿_ _Q- Qu_ _é puedo hacer por usted?_

"Uh, _¿p_ _uedo... llamar a alguien?_

Antonio arrived an hour later bursting into the room. Never had I felt so happy to see him... He hugged me as best he could maneuvering around the cast on my arm. _¡_ _Dios mio, Lovino !_ _¡_ _Me preocupé por ti!_

When he was done chewing me out he kissed me for a few moments and I wrapped an arm around his neck.

"Where's Feliciano?"

"When they didn't see him at the meeting," Antonio explained, "Japan and Germany went to his house... he was in really bad shape too, but... I stayed here because you're here."

"Is he okay _now?_ " I asked.

He smiled gently and it reminded me of the way the Holy Roman Empire looked at my Vene... " _S_ _í._ "

Suddenly the Spaniard gave me a look of concern. "Lovi? Are you alright?!"

I felt the cool tears on my face.

"I'm sorry... for the way I yelled at you," I said.

He hugged me again, murmuring, "My Lovi, my sweet Lovi..."

That wasn't why I started crying, though, I felt bad about hurting Antonio's feelings. A wave of relief just overwhelmed me from knowing that Feli was okay and that he was still here to be Italy with me.


End file.
